It may be the fact that I am a cancer, or that I like to be reflective, but I try to find a lesson is all the tribulations I go through, otherwise I would go crazy. Thus far, there has been an important lesson from everything difficult I have been through. When I am going through it, I am often filled with sadness or rage, but when the feelings pass, the message is clear. We are still going through this global pandemic. Hundreds of thousands of people have lost their lives. People have lost their businesses, their jobs. A lot of people’s mental health has really suffered during this time. We don’t know all of the ramifications that this pandemic will have but it will likely be severe.

 

When you thought 2020 could not get any worse, we saw several Black Americans die at the hands of Police Officers. The most recently one being George Floyd’s murder. This country and world has finally turned upside down and is slowly starting to notice the prejudice African Americans face daily. I am quite ashamed that I let this pass by my whole life, knowing it was an issue but doing nothing to do stop it.

2020 has been a nightmare to say the least. Thankfully, I still have my job, my health, my family and I thank God every morning for keeping us safe. However, I have had a very difficult time these past couple of months. I can be grateful that I am safe but still realize how difficult this situation has been. I have had really low lows during this time, I have been extremely anxious and down for most of the time. Most recently, I have been confronting my prejudices and biases which although long overdue, has not been a pleasant experience.

Although these last three months were some of the most challenging times I’ve had in a while, I have learned a lot. I’ve learned:

Life is so incredibly fragile

I know that sounds SO cliche. But I couldn’t ever actually grasp the concept. I thought it was just something someone said when they lose someone close to them. I thankfully have not lost anyone but I can finally feel this. Covid-19 stopped for no one, regardless of your race, gender, or social status. It is much like death, no one is immune to it regardless of how we think we are.

Stop wasting your life being unhappy

I have historically had a difficult time setting boundaries and spent my life please others and making them happy. PSA: I AM DONE! I have spent many, many years putting others happiness before mine, leaving me extremely unhappy.

There is A LOT more to life than money

Hear me out – I thought this was something just the middle class and above say. I come from very little money, so I thought once you “made it”  all your problems disappeared. I definitely have not “made it” but am in a better state financially than I have been in years. I thought that would fix a lot of my issues, but guess what? It didn’t. If you aren’t happy, money won’t do it for you, it just makes life a little more comfortable.

Always stand up for what you believe in

I always have and always will think Black Lives Matter. I have let a lot of thing and comments slide as a “joke”, or “that’s just how they are”, when those forms of racism should have been stopped by me a long time ago. I will not tolerate any type of racism or prejudice around me. If you can’t understand and respect that, please see yourself out.

Stop living in complacency

Growing up with uncertainty, I yearn for stability at all costs. Now that my life is fairly stable, I have stuck with the way things are, regardless if they have make me unhappy. I was so afraid of leaving this comfort zone that I have become extremely complacent. I feel as though, I have let several years of my life pass by with me just sitting there and watch it on the side lines.

Every part of life has a chapter. I am calling this part of my life, the rebirth. I was asleep, complacent, and down for a long time. I took no control over my actions or my life, and I just let life happen to me. Now, I am finally awake, and am so grateful for this second chance to start over, to be “reborn” and live a more purposeful life. And that is exactly what I plan to do.

I strongly urge you to reflect on the last three plus months, regardless of how tough they are. I hope you are all safe and doing the best that you possibly can. Give your self grace, but also dig deep and think about what lessons you have learned. What has the pandemic taught you? I would love to hear from you!

Xoxo,

Finding Francesca